I got myself a sauna!

It wasn’t an impulse purchase. I mean, we researched brands and types for almost two years. But this winter we did it. We bought a sauna. If you aren’t familiar with a sauna, it is basically a human sized crock pot where you voluntarily partially cook yourself. Or that’s the basic premise at least.

But I guess that is the benefit. Slow roasting oneself is apparently very healthy for you. The Mayo Clinic writes, “sauna bathing may be linked to several health benefits, which include reduction in the risk of vascular diseases such as high blood pressure, cardiovascular disease, and neurocognitive diseases; nonvascular conditions such as pulmonary diseases; mortality; as well as amelioration of conditions such as arthritis, headache, and flu.”

I don’t claim to understand all of that, but when I picked out “reduce mortality” that sounded like a good idea.

While we rationalized it as doing something healthy for ourselves, in all honesty it was a winter decision made when being toasty warm seemed like an awfully attractive way to spend the evening.

We started sweating immediately. And we hadn’t even got it out of the box yet! It was heavy with lots of wires and parts and things. When the instructions come in a book you know you are in trouble. But, three days later, we switched it on for the first time.

Man, it is nice on a cold night. We put on some jazz music, select the color of the “mood lighting,” and just zen out for a half hour or so.

Then things get more interesting. As the temperature climbs through 120 degrees those cute little drops of sweat on your forehead start their way down your face. You begin to realize, “Hey, it’s pretty hot in here.”

At 130 degrees those sweat beads band together into a trickle that keep reappearing even though you just toweled them off. It becomes a bit annoying that every movement sends a shower of sweat in whichever direction you gestured.

At 140 degrees you start thinking, “So, this is how it ends.” You’ve given up wiping the torrent of water coming out of your pores. All your towels are soaked, and you just try not to move and moisten yet another area with your bodily fluids.

When we get in we set the timer for an hour, but something happens in that heat because those last five minutes seem to take a few hours by themselves. When the clock goes to zero all the heaters turn off and you can immediately sense the relief.

A quick dash across the hall and we jump right into a shower to rinse all those toxins off. I will say, that feeling you get when you dry off is amazing. Like everything is rejuvenated.

You know what tastes great after a sauna? Ice cream.

“Hey, Siri, give me a list of articles that say ice cream is healthy.”